Breathless

Smiling eyes hide raging pain.
Dont leave me alone with my
thoughts, they'll eat me alive.
A kiss,  unreal, wakes me breathless,
watching me hold onto nothing.

The cruelty of numbers

I know every inch of that dartboard.

Winmau ring upside down.

Treble three bed, peppered with holes

from countless arrows and imaginary ones 

burnt by my eyes over the shoulders of others.

One hundred and seventeen etched in

chalk on the scoreboard. The same number of 

times, I have counted the chairs,  the frames on the walls,

the tiny holes in the air vents, scratches on the table. 

Ninety three paces, how long I have to hold on

before I'm forced to let go.

One hundred and forty six seconds from letting go 

to holding on again.

Five steps, four railings and two doors before

I take another forty one strides to rest once more. 

One hundred and eighty minutes of high frequency

sounds, that can be heard by no one except me.

Eight and a half brings it to an end. 

Cruelty by numbers.